Rebecca Roe: Reading Zora duz this

Cemetary' by faye runaway aka freedocha

I know that I failed to feel
this urgent information older adults would hand so carefully to me,
Me and my spaz-self, ramming my mind into the next new moment
I was too fast for wisdom and words.
Deep down I knew I was missing the mark
whenever the opportunity to Appreciate came around
That must be because it was a small death speaking, wishing for its life back
Cautioning me to wish for what I already had
This gravity of naked abandonement was heavier than I could fashion
I am Young, unsunk and Incapable of remorse
This is how I figured out that lessons are only released once the skin is broken
Never before.
Losing slows me down,
slow enough to stroke the last flame on its way out
and hear the clucking of foresight find me in my first grave.
Today,
Realization began building its nest in my heart.

(Dear What-Once-was,
I am going to tell others to be grateful and to enjoy.
But losing you was the best thing that could've happened.
Now I truly Love you.
Every time I wish for you, you seem to get more amazing.
Sincerely Yours,
the bereaved)

Geoff Hall Photography Live from ROCKERS!

From the album:
"091028 Philadelphia PA - Tritone" by Geoff Hall

Geoff Hall Photography Faye Runaway

712. i'm sweet on these two

by Kolure Images, LLC.... this was also a good night. great african food.. wine.. at our friend fumi's house...he is a sweet photographer and cook..lol

rebecca writes short stories.. I will post all 4 chapters..enjoy

Yugo, I go An Imaginary Memoir



Preface

 "Reports of rape in the former Yugoslavia have brought much deserved and long overdue international attention to the issue of rape in war. While other abuses, such as murder and other forms of torture have long been denounced as war crimes, rape has been downplayed as an unfortunate but inevitable side effect of sending men to war. In fact, wartime rape has never been limited to a certain era or a particular part of the world. Rape has long been mischaracterized and dismissed by military and political leaders-in other words, those in the position to stop it- as a private crime, a sexual act, the ignoble conduct of the occasional soldier, or, worse still, it has been accepted precisely because it is so commonplace." (Thomas & Ralph, Rape in war: the case of Bosnia)


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Chapter 1 
Welcome to Rape Camp (shit and blood)



Eloine and Nanshe clung like ribbons. 
The Reddish man, the one with heavy eyebrows and a forward gait, knuckled his hand against his belly.

Instantly their wrists throbbed. Their bodies shirked upwards at the shoulders, pullind down the chin, the eyes. Pain followed them into their ears, urethras stinging.
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Eloine. (Ehl-Wahn) 
Eloine would walk in tight, short steps. When it was ready, when it did come, she'd stick two fingers in her rectum, slowly. 
Careful not to split open the wound, she crouched with her pelvis tucked under, like her mother did when she checked herself in the mirror, one leg hiked up. Oily lumps coated her fingers, which she'd smear on her breasts, her face and vagina. All the places they wanted. 
When blood came, she repeated this anointing.


______________________________________________________________

The two moved like nervous, wet fleas. Wings heavy, slithering about in weak circles of fear, tipsy from malnutrition. Nanshe always made little noises first.


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Nanshe. (NOAN-shh) 
Nanshe prayed loudly when she cried, since she was young. She lost two teeth this way, her first time. She learned to mouth the words silently, since they pulled her lips into those hallowed shapes, words like caves to hide in. This they beat from her face. 
She had a tiny frame. After four or six in one night, her lower belly poked hard, rude on her hips, sometimes for a week after. She began to fake sleeping so she could say her prayers in the early am. Now, when they wanted her, she could pass out cold. They called it the sickness. Those that liked a chase and struggle lost interest, and the others did not exist for her. This technique bought her wounds healing time, highly coveted, now that two dozen girls have died off. As the camp shrunk, everything became a tool or weapon.
The Fence. The rusted web, a patterned laugh at their despair, an iron curtain mocking their dreams, gloating with freedom in its corners, the Fence became the place where arms rested. Fingers cramped and tugged the screen, a dug-out.
Nanshe missed her sister, a twin. When it rained, she searched potholes for the mirror. 
Look at our hair, she'd ask the water's skin. 
Still, it was redeeming to visit with her. They'd play a secret game quietly, with little motion. When the guards came close, she'd push dirt into the hole with her toe. The guards would steal her joy if they could.


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They evaded as if there was somewhere to go, somewhere that was not here, which was everywhere, all the time. He played on this, patting his imaginary pocket-watch. He owned Time, all time belonged to him. He never used weapons, always entered from behind. He himself was bone poor, shoving the dusty dirt in their mouths and eyes, one hand always on their necks. 
Filthy fucking cunt. eat the fuckin dirt, you shit in this fuckin soil. Nasty bitch you like being dirty, eat this shit you fuckin whore put it in your mouth
Always the talking with the shoving, 
pushing the red dirt into the shocked, open mouth. 
Tears turned the iron dust into paint, appropriate for war. 
This is how they started calling him the Red one. 
They'd cry and tried to pull their shaking lips over their teeth to make the hole smaller, to slow the avalanche. This almost always made noise. Somehow the shoving and cursing and sounds make his dick hard, but the gagging whimper always made him come. 
He wore a costume, a poor man dressed in power.

Eloine and Nanshe clung like ribbons. 
The Reddish man, the one with heavy eyebrows and a forward gait, knuckled his hand against his belly.
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stay in tuned for chapter 2

sweet day at the beach!!!!

ME X FOCUS STREAM AT THE BEACH

So yeah we are dorks. we took our poetry books to the beach. and we wrote a stream together. awwww. hahahaha.
here it is. we call it.... stream at the beach..

You cannot hide from the magnetic energy that surrounds you.
Light penetrates all forms, it only needs a surface.
At a time of true relaxation they came out of the sky shaped by beauty.
The descent into the biosphere bent that beauty into power.
I'm amazed by the true nature of this body of water this moving vehicle
We make homes out of anchors, build compasses to find centers.
It sticks itself to me. Not wanting to leave clinging forever and secretly i don't want it to.
I want to twirl us and tangle say, look what a mess.
The sun has followed me as if we were long distant lovers
But I'm head over heels for the moon. So we both chase the night for her jewels

Freedocha is back!!!!

Yay!!! Freedocha aka Faye Runaway is back with red nail polish...Sweet! Whats new with her you ask...
She loves tomato juice and riding her bike really far.. damn you Portland!! Hahahaha just joking..

Me X Focus X Nikki G.

Good Times!(Focus come back!)

Freedocha Is Going to Portland Pt. 2

Ok. I won't say much about last night. but i had a FUCKING BLAST!! I met a bunch of really cool people. why we got in at 5am I will never know. well we got to sanctuary at 2am. before that we checked out a new band that LRB sings for(they don't have a name yet but they are super dope)but that was over at 1am and we stood outside for an hour talking about life and taking pics. we do that all the time. then at sanctuary we danced and started building with the people. so that is all i will say. we sent focus off in style. and you guessed it folks Lillie Ruth Bussey had those water guns again. Gee wiz.

Freedocha Is Going to Portland

Sheesh! What am I going to do? My best friend Focus aka Freedocha aka Faye Runaway is going to Portland for 12 days. Boooo! Portland sucks. Hahahahhahhahaha.Ha. Just Joking. I know she is gonna have TOns of fun. And Portland is fuckin cool. its the home of a kick ass band called Purple Rhinestone Eagle. but anyhue freedocha will be providing the superdefstar blog with info about the kick ass music scene in Portland. sooo stay in tuned folks.(Thank you Focus Be blessed!)

Underneath the movie

Focus and I have music in this flim. Its mostly hip hop tracks check it out this movie is super funny and deep.

Focus Art Show! Photo By Geoff Hall

The show was great! there will be more shows to come. Big love to all that came. I hope you come again. hahahha ok. um yeah.... ill do a top 5 moments of the show.
Photo by Geoff Hall. peep the her artwork on the wall. show will be up for a month chk it out@ the flying saucer 26& Brown
1.playing with Faye's Lil sisters
2.Lauren starting the party off with 2 six packs(and her after party saved my life)
3.jam session(all players involved..amazing)
4.my 35 min straight freestyle
5.MJ dance party

Freedocha Paints and Does Other Stuff

Freedocha aka Focus aka Faye Runaway is so fucking talented I don't know what to say about her first, but I will say this: She will be showing a few of her paintings at the Flying Saucer on June 27th 5pm-7pm @ 26th and Brown St. And I hear she will be revealing another one of her many talents. So come and pick up a some art that will brighten up your life.

NOFX-Corazon De Oro

This cd is the truth. All my Punk rock heads know whats up. If you have ever been in the focus truck you prob. heard this song.

I'm just trying to find a place that i can call my own

The Full Moon Stream

Today Focus and I are brunchin it up at Cochon. And I'm like yo lets write a stream of cons(we write line for line without reading and without edit.)The piece came out fuckin sweet so I wanted to share it with you. I really like it cause Its hard to tell when I come in or when Focus comes in. This is a look at the random stuff we think about. Its funny cause idk what we are talking about but somehow it works. So here it is.. we call it The Full Moon Stream.

I want it. by the lake. under the pale moon. I want it now more than ever. Catch the excitement in your teeth crackle pop. I'm smiling in the bevy of anticipation, holding hands and harping love songs. I am downwind, clocking your scent. Ahh what it means to be inside the reasons. the understandings that hail from above. And ceilings were sad, but hopeful in convincing us that they were impostors, only the sky can cover and enclose the bodies, The shelter was redefined as a house, Since then, the dirt began to forget us. In the early days. We would wish the to hold the sun. Black our faces and blind our eyes. We would wish for everything and cross our hearts with our innocence. It was a cornered soul who created action-forms like manipulation and deceit. The clever and self-rite minds called this survival what bad men do. In the zone. My heart finally finds itself.

Fast Times at the Park

Ok so I'm hanging out in the park today with Sheena, Focus and Myracle having a blast. The beautiful and talented Myracle sung a few songs for us and it inspired and blessed my heart. I wanted to blog the first song she sung which was Certainly by Erykah Badu but i couldn't find the video on youtube. So if you have that song play it fucking loud cause its soo good. so instead ill post the next song she decided to sing for us. Its beautiful!

Can you and I talk about it?

Ok so we are at the park and Faye Runaway says Hey Cam and Alabaster I want yall to write a conversation, to say before a song I wrote. I said ok lets do it now and fast and so we had a conversation and she wrote (well tried to) down every word we said. So we went home jammed it on the one and its beautiful. Come to a show and you'll hear it for sure. This is the conversation which is fluid and subject to change(also is totally a freestyle and not about anyone.)Alabaster will be A and I will be C. The song is called you and I.

C: Can you and I talk about it?
A: Lets talk.
C: My heart has exploded, with no place for the remains. What should I do?
A: Maybe you should keep it in a box, put it on a shelf. Only take it down when you're ready.
C: But I'm ready now. What if the person I want to give it to isn't ready?
A: Be patient
C: But I'm very patient
A: Love is patient. The mind only confuses things. It has to be a state of mind.
C: But where do I put my desires? They haunt me! They haunt me!
A: You have to free yourself from your desires. Anything you desire will ultimately bring you pain.
C: I am not afraid.
a: I wasn't warning you.
C: you were just telling me whats evident. but my heart is bruised.
a: When does the healing begin?
c: When does the healing begin?
a: When you stop reopening wounds.
c: I just sewed myself up yesterday. It took me all afternoon.
a: But today you spent the whole day picking at it.
c: I know, I know.

Geoff Hall Photography Me X Focus

Top 5 BAngin Shit Week #13

TOP 5 MOMENTS FROM THE LILLIE RUTH BUSSEY/DANGEROUS PONIES SHOW LAST NIGHT
1.Fighting Freedocha during lrb set
2.Performing with lrb
3.Dancing during the DP set
4.Dancing with the DP after the set
5.Hanging out with good friends heather and Sheena