i HAD A GREAT TIME. THANK YOU PURPLE FOR EVERYTHING..
SO FAR THIS WEEK. EXCHANGE @ COPA ON TUES/SUPERDEFSTAR SHOW ON FRI...MORE DETAILS LATER..
Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Thank you Alexia
Women who affect women stimulate response and action; bring about a change in living; stir and arouse emotions, ideas, and activities that defy dichotomies between the personal and political aspects of affection. Thus Gyn/...affection means personal and political movement of women toward each other.
-Janice G. Raymond, 'A Passion for Friends: Toward a Philosophy of Female Affection'Read More
-Janice G. Raymond, 'A Passion for Friends: Toward a Philosophy of Female Affection'Read More
Friday, August 28, 2009
rebecca writes short stories.. I will post all 4 chapters..enjoy
Yugo, I go An Imaginary Memoir
Preface "Reports of rape in the former Yugoslavia have brought much deserved and long overdue international attention to the issue of rape in war. While other abuses, such as murder and other forms of torture have long been denounced as war crimes, rape has been downplayed as an unfortunate but inevitable side effect of sending men to war. In fact, wartime rape has never been limited to a certain era or a particular part of the world. Rape has long been mischaracterized and dismissed by military and political leaders-in other words, those in the position to stop it- as a private crime, a sexual act, the ignoble conduct of the occasional soldier, or, worse still, it has been accepted precisely because it is so commonplace." (Thomas & Ralph, Rape in war: the case of Bosnia) _
_______________________________________________________
Chapter 1 Welcome to Rape Camp (shit and blood)
Eloine and Nanshe clung like ribbons. The Reddish man, the one with heavy eyebrows and a forward gait, knuckled his hand against his belly. Instantly their wrists throbbed. Their bodies shirked upwards at the shoulders, pullind down the chin, the eyes. Pain followed them into their ears, urethras stinging. ______________________________________________________________ Eloine. (Ehl-Wahn) Eloine would walk in tight, short steps. When it was ready, when it did come, she'd stick two fingers in her rectum, slowly. Careful not to split open the wound, she crouched with her pelvis tucked under, like her mother did when she checked herself in the mirror, one leg hiked up. Oily lumps coated her fingers, which she'd smear on her breasts, her face and vagina. All the places they wanted. When blood came, she repeated this anointing.
______________________________________________________________ The two moved like nervous, wet fleas. Wings heavy, slithering about in weak circles of fear, tipsy from malnutrition. Nanshe always made little noises first.
_______________________________________________________________ Nanshe. (NOAN-shh) Nanshe prayed loudly when she cried, since she was young. She lost two teeth this way, her first time. She learned to mouth the words silently, since they pulled her lips into those hallowed shapes, words like caves to hide in. This they beat from her face. She had a tiny frame. After four or six in one night, her lower belly poked hard, rude on her hips, sometimes for a week after. She began to fake sleeping so she could say her prayers in the early am. Now, when they wanted her, she could pass out cold. They called it the sickness. Those that liked a chase and struggle lost interest, and the others did not exist for her. This technique bought her wounds healing time, highly coveted, now that two dozen girls have died off. As the camp shrunk, everything became a tool or weapon.
The Fence. The rusted web, a patterned laugh at their despair, an iron curtain mocking their dreams, gloating with freedom in its corners, the Fence became the place where arms rested. Fingers cramped and tugged the screen, a dug-out. Nanshe missed her sister, a twin. When it rained, she searched potholes for the mirror. Look at our hair, she'd ask the water's skin. Still, it was redeeming to visit with her. They'd play a secret game quietly, with little motion. When the guards came close, she'd push dirt into the hole with her toe. The guards would steal her joy if they could.
_______________________________________________________________ They evaded as if there was somewhere to go, somewhere that was not here, which was everywhere, all the time. He played on this, patting his imaginary pocket-watch. He owned Time, all time belonged to him. He never used weapons, always entered from behind. He himself was bone poor, shoving the dusty dirt in their mouths and eyes, one hand always on their necks. Filthy fucking cunt. eat the fuckin dirt, you shit in this fuckin soil. Nasty bitch you like being dirty, eat this shit you fuckin whore put it in your mouth Always the talking with the shoving, pushing the red dirt into the shocked, open mouth. Tears turned the iron dust into paint, appropriate for war. This is how they started calling him the Red one. They'd cry and tried to pull their shaking lips over their teeth to make the hole smaller, to slow the avalanche. This almost always made noise. Somehow the shoving and cursing and sounds make his dick hard, but the gagging whimper always made him come. He wore a costume, a poor man dressed in power.
Eloine and Nanshe clung like ribbons. The Reddish man, the one with heavy eyebrows and a forward gait, knuckled his hand against his belly. ________________
stay in tuned for chapter 2
Preface "Reports of rape in the former Yugoslavia have brought much deserved and long overdue international attention to the issue of rape in war. While other abuses, such as murder and other forms of torture have long been denounced as war crimes, rape has been downplayed as an unfortunate but inevitable side effect of sending men to war. In fact, wartime rape has never been limited to a certain era or a particular part of the world. Rape has long been mischaracterized and dismissed by military and political leaders-in other words, those in the position to stop it- as a private crime, a sexual act, the ignoble conduct of the occasional soldier, or, worse still, it has been accepted precisely because it is so commonplace." (Thomas & Ralph, Rape in war: the case of Bosnia) _
_______________________________________________________
Chapter 1 Welcome to Rape Camp (shit and blood)
Eloine and Nanshe clung like ribbons. The Reddish man, the one with heavy eyebrows and a forward gait, knuckled his hand against his belly. Instantly their wrists throbbed. Their bodies shirked upwards at the shoulders, pullind down the chin, the eyes. Pain followed them into their ears, urethras stinging. ______________________________________________________________ Eloine. (Ehl-Wahn) Eloine would walk in tight, short steps. When it was ready, when it did come, she'd stick two fingers in her rectum, slowly. Careful not to split open the wound, she crouched with her pelvis tucked under, like her mother did when she checked herself in the mirror, one leg hiked up. Oily lumps coated her fingers, which she'd smear on her breasts, her face and vagina. All the places they wanted. When blood came, she repeated this anointing.
______________________________________________________________ The two moved like nervous, wet fleas. Wings heavy, slithering about in weak circles of fear, tipsy from malnutrition. Nanshe always made little noises first.
_______________________________________________________________ Nanshe. (NOAN-shh) Nanshe prayed loudly when she cried, since she was young. She lost two teeth this way, her first time. She learned to mouth the words silently, since they pulled her lips into those hallowed shapes, words like caves to hide in. This they beat from her face. She had a tiny frame. After four or six in one night, her lower belly poked hard, rude on her hips, sometimes for a week after. She began to fake sleeping so she could say her prayers in the early am. Now, when they wanted her, she could pass out cold. They called it the sickness. Those that liked a chase and struggle lost interest, and the others did not exist for her. This technique bought her wounds healing time, highly coveted, now that two dozen girls have died off. As the camp shrunk, everything became a tool or weapon.
The Fence. The rusted web, a patterned laugh at their despair, an iron curtain mocking their dreams, gloating with freedom in its corners, the Fence became the place where arms rested. Fingers cramped and tugged the screen, a dug-out. Nanshe missed her sister, a twin. When it rained, she searched potholes for the mirror. Look at our hair, she'd ask the water's skin. Still, it was redeeming to visit with her. They'd play a secret game quietly, with little motion. When the guards came close, she'd push dirt into the hole with her toe. The guards would steal her joy if they could.
_______________________________________________________________ They evaded as if there was somewhere to go, somewhere that was not here, which was everywhere, all the time. He played on this, patting his imaginary pocket-watch. He owned Time, all time belonged to him. He never used weapons, always entered from behind. He himself was bone poor, shoving the dusty dirt in their mouths and eyes, one hand always on their necks. Filthy fucking cunt. eat the fuckin dirt, you shit in this fuckin soil. Nasty bitch you like being dirty, eat this shit you fuckin whore put it in your mouth Always the talking with the shoving, pushing the red dirt into the shocked, open mouth. Tears turned the iron dust into paint, appropriate for war. This is how they started calling him the Red one. They'd cry and tried to pull their shaking lips over their teeth to make the hole smaller, to slow the avalanche. This almost always made noise. Somehow the shoving and cursing and sounds make his dick hard, but the gagging whimper always made him come. He wore a costume, a poor man dressed in power.
Eloine and Nanshe clung like ribbons. The Reddish man, the one with heavy eyebrows and a forward gait, knuckled his hand against his belly. ________________
stay in tuned for chapter 2
Thursday, August 27, 2009
sweet day at the beach!!!! The Lowdown!
I had a great day at the beach. Why was it sooo fucking awesome you ask.... ok here is the really short version. So I'm in the ocean laughing telling jokes talking shit about how badass I am.. and i get a superbad charlie fucking horse in my foot. yes the same foot i always get them in. (but thats what I get for talking shit..haha) So I'm howling in pain like a baaaby boy and then maybe to save me or just looking for fish to eat..... these dolphins came and swam around me. crazy.... then as my friend Purple was helping me out the water a tornado formed right in front of us in the ocean. it was magical and beautiful.
these are a few pics.. we took a bunch but my eyes are closed in 88% of them and i don't like that.. so yeah......I'm gonna post more tho...
these are a few pics.. we took a bunch but my eyes are closed in 88% of them and i don't like that.. so yeah......I'm gonna post more tho...
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Superdefstar Interview pt. 1
So I was a victim of several interviews. Exhibitionist/Crooner/Trapeze-artist Camae asked me a bunch of dumb questions over a 3 day period. I will post parts of the interview. enjoy. Lets call this part one.
Camae: Lets play a game
Superdefstar :Ok
Camae: its called fill in the blank
Superdefstar: ok
Camae: Before hell there was...
Superdefstar: Me
Camae: When I look in the mirror I see...
Superdefstar: a mirror
Camae: The first flower....
Superdefstar: came out of my pussy
Camae: interesting... I am....
Superdefstar: as old as kissing and poetry
Camae: you wanna keep going?
Superdefstar: no. you suck at this.
Camae: ok we will try again next time
Superdefstar: ok
Camae: Lets play a game
Superdefstar :Ok
Camae: its called fill in the blank
Superdefstar: ok
Camae: Before hell there was...
Superdefstar: Me
Camae: When I look in the mirror I see...
Superdefstar: a mirror
Camae: The first flower....
Superdefstar: came out of my pussy
Camae: interesting... I am....
Superdefstar: as old as kissing and poetry
Camae: you wanna keep going?
Superdefstar: no. you suck at this.
Camae: ok we will try again next time
Superdefstar: ok
Civil Jones Theme Song
Oh My.... I could/can write poetry all day/night to do this. It is so enchanting.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Scorpio weekly horoscope
Scorpio - There's a "Survivor" element to this week's astrology for you that suggests you remember that sometimes the best thing you can do is live to fight another day. Don't vote yourself off the set of your own reality show; you can use your intense interactions with other people to learn about the state of your soul without taking everything personally. Sometimes this shift just starts with the intention to take it easy on yourself. Treat the week as an obstacle course and remember that (a) you have friends and colleagues who are more than willing to help you if you ask and (b) you can always feel better by making the choice to get out of your head and into an activity that inspires you (music, art, dancing, love-making, yoga, etc.). Wednesday night's New Moon in your 10th House signals an approaching new start in a career matter, one that could involve the change of location you've been considering.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
MAN RAY
Pisces, 1938 by Man Ray. Oil on canvas. Tate Gallery, London. (via billyjane & surrealism)
Pisces was based on an image from Les Mains libres (Free Hands), a suite of drawings that Man Ray published with poems by Paul Eluard in 1937. ‘In these drawings my hands are dreaming’, he later remarked. The woman lies alongside a fish to create what the artist described as ‘a contrasting of similar and different forms at the same time’. Man Ray strengthened the identification of woman and fish by choosing Pisces, the zodiac sign of paired fishes, as the English title. (Source) - (From the display caption July 2008)
Pisces was based on an image from Les Mains libres (Free Hands), a suite of drawings that Man Ray published with poems by Paul Eluard in 1937. ‘In these drawings my hands are dreaming’, he later remarked. The woman lies alongside a fish to create what the artist described as ‘a contrasting of similar and different forms at the same time’. Man Ray strengthened the identification of woman and fish by choosing Pisces, the zodiac sign of paired fishes, as the English title. (Source) - (From the display caption July 2008)
Saturday, August 22, 2009
thought #1
thoughts on sunblock
I know I should wear sunblock
but I like my face against the black
especially my eyes
they look like they are stuck in a voodoo spell
transfixed forever gazing.
no past.
no future.
just gazing.
no reflection.
no me.
just gazing.
you should see it
against the black.
I know I should wear sunblock
but I like my face against the black
especially my eyes
they look like they are stuck in a voodoo spell
transfixed forever gazing.
no past.
no future.
just gazing.
no reflection.
no me.
just gazing.
you should see it
against the black.
This is true...
No one in America should go broke because they got sick.”
— President Barack Obama, Weekly Address (August 22, 2009) (via think4yourself) (via apsies) (via antoinetta)
— President Barack Obama, Weekly Address (August 22, 2009) (via think4yourself) (via apsies) (via antoinetta)
Friday, August 21, 2009
Basement of the Swallows
Sótano de las golondrinas
Is an enormous pit cave situated in a rainforest in San Luis Potosi, Mexico. The low point of the entrance provides a 1094 feet (333 m) freefall drop to the bottom of the cave while the high point provides a 1220 feet (372 m) freefall drop. The cave’s entrance is the second deepest in the world.
The cave’s name means Basement of the Swallows, because of the large number of birds living in holes in the cave’s walls. To free themselves from the cave, the birds fly in circles around the cave, gradually flying upwards until they are able to reach the surface and the sky.
poem
i wrote this today.... I like how weird and dark it is...
I'm in the dirt
you are not
you are with the air
why are you holding my hand?
I'm in the dirt
you are not
you are with the air
why are you holding my hand?
ME X FOCUS STREAM AT THE BEACH
So yeah we are dorks. we took our poetry books to the beach. and we wrote a stream together. awwww. hahahaha.
here it is. we call it.... stream at the beach..
You cannot hide from the magnetic energy that surrounds you.
Light penetrates all forms, it only needs a surface.
At a time of true relaxation they came out of the sky shaped by beauty.
The descent into the biosphere bent that beauty into power.
I'm amazed by the true nature of this body of water this moving vehicle
We make homes out of anchors, build compasses to find centers.
It sticks itself to me. Not wanting to leave clinging forever and secretly i don't want it to.
I want to twirl us and tangle say, look what a mess.
The sun has followed me as if we were long distant lovers
But I'm head over heels for the moon. So we both chase the night for her jewels
here it is. we call it.... stream at the beach..
You cannot hide from the magnetic energy that surrounds you.
Light penetrates all forms, it only needs a surface.
At a time of true relaxation they came out of the sky shaped by beauty.
The descent into the biosphere bent that beauty into power.
I'm amazed by the true nature of this body of water this moving vehicle
We make homes out of anchors, build compasses to find centers.
It sticks itself to me. Not wanting to leave clinging forever and secretly i don't want it to.
I want to twirl us and tangle say, look what a mess.
The sun has followed me as if we were long distant lovers
But I'm head over heels for the moon. So we both chase the night for her jewels
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Look at your past, dis-identified
I say things I mean and don't mean. What can I do? Nothing. What is done is done. I can only move on and learn from my mistakes. So yeah don't quote me. as a singer/writer/poet my throat chakra is always open. I'm workinonit. Mastery.
So note to all: Don't hear me. Feel me. its less confusing that way
So note to all: Don't hear me. Feel me. its less confusing that way
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Breath-a bridge to the universe
Illusions deceive, colors circumscribe, even divisibles are indivisible
-Osho
-Osho
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Top 5 BAngin Shit Week #27
I'm off to play in the ocean again. ill see you soon.
Note to all and self: Its time for a fast.
Note to all and self: Its time for a fast.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Georgia anne Muldrow
She is dope. My boyfriend Mars put me on to her. "when i'm down i just draw some roses on a pretty piece of paper"
He plays this one alot. its sweet.
He plays this one alot. its sweet.
Stewie Griffin
Oh squiggly line in my eye fluid. I see you lurking there on the peripherie of my vision. But when I try to look at you, you scurry away. Are you shy, squiggly line? Why only when I ignore you, do you return to the center of my eye? Oh, squiggly line, it’s alright, you are forgiven.” — Stewie Griffin
Francis Bacon
i went over to my friend Derby's crib and he had this really cool Francis Bacon book. I forgot how dope he is or was rip.
Scorpio Weekly Horoscope
Look to your circle of friends and colleagues early this week for a very important connection that makes possible the change you’ve yearned for. If you’re willing to take a chance as never before, your risk will pay off in unmistakable ways. Thursday’s Leo New Moon occurs in your career sector, effectively beginning a new chapter of your life’s work. Let yourself shine even when you wish you didn’t have to, because that’s how you open the doors that you need access to right now. Mars brings the kind of support that changes everything, and if you play your cards right, you’ll see that change begin to manifest as early as next week. The Moon’s Nodes are crossing over your private/public axis, which happens once every 19 years. Think back to 1990 and know that the same magnitude of transformation is upon you now.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Major Lazer
I went to the MADD DECENT block party yesterday. I had tons of fun. I mean TONs of fucking fun. I met a bunch of really cool people and chk out my friends band The PoPo.
Mad Decent Block Party Snippet August 15th 2009 from Mad Decent on Vimeo.
Major Lazer "Pon De Floor" from Eric Wareheim on Vimeo.
Today.....
There are so many adjustments being made at this time it isn't easy keeping up with the journey through this passage, but letting go is the easiest, most productive way, so no matter what you're dealing with today, great or small, easy or tough, take your hands off the wheel and let your Higher Self do the driving. Another way to look at it is to realize that allowing your mind to take charge, that is, trying to understand anything that's happening right now, is not going to get you anywhere. Move solidly into your heart and let your heart respond to whatever happens, as it happens.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Top 5 BAngin Shit Week #26
I put up a bunch of new poems on this site.. chk them out!
www.superdefstar.tumblr.com
www.superdefstar.tumblr.com
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Seasons
I will miss
seeing your face.
like flowers miss the sun
so much that they wither into dust.
until spring…
seeing your face.
like flowers miss the sun
so much that they wither into dust.
until spring…
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
Scorpio Weekly Horoscope
Before your ruler Pluto was discovered in 1930, Mars was believed to be the ruler of your sign. As a result, he will forever be the ‘classical’ planet that you resonate with more than others. This week Mars makes some important aspects to some important outer planets, and next week he will make two more before he moves into Cancer and opposes your current ruler, Pluto, on the 26th of this month. With both your ruling planets so active, it’s a safe bet that you are too. Important things are happening now. Mars is in your 8th house, where deep connections occur and support comes from those closest to you, and these experiences generate profound change that transforms you at the core of your being. You’ve been waiting for this transition period, you were just looking in the wrong place. Change always happens within.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
SUPERDEFSTAR Top 5 Questionable Moments..
i had my first solo show as Superdefstar last night doing more than one song. i did about 5 minutes of stuff(4songs). I went on after Lillie Ruth Bussey which was a dream(She wore a plastic cape during her set..amazing!). My short set was i think fuckin crazy... I can't believe myself sometimes.. To quote my friend Feya's facebook status "SuperDefStar blew my mind, totally star struck by her energy and spirit."(thank you) So next time you hear about a show come. I'm gonna try to live up to what Feya said Hahahhaha. I'm workinonit.(thanks to all my friends for just being there)
Top 5 questionable moments from last nights set...
1.I humped the floor (why idk)
2.I hurt my knee trying to roll off the stage :(
3.i played dead a bunch of times
4.i started barking like a dog and screaming howling...(anybody)
5.i put the microphone in my mouth..yuck!(after freedocha told me to back up off the mic)
Top 5 questionable moments from last nights set...
1.I humped the floor (why idk)
2.I hurt my knee trying to roll off the stage :(
3.i played dead a bunch of times
4.i started barking like a dog and screaming howling...(anybody)
5.i put the microphone in my mouth..yuck!(after freedocha told me to back up off the mic)
Ani Difranco 2 Songs
This morning i woke up to soul music thanks to Mars. Then i heard some really good Pantera and Mudvyane thanks to Prof. Jazz. Now its my turn...
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